Monday, October 09, 2006
DEAR CLAIRE
You said your piece, I've said mine.
& all you get from it is less than what you came with.
What was the purpose of it all, then.
If all you do is refuse to listen, then the most I can do, I did.
You don't understand a single bit, a single inch.
Now its down, but everything stays the same.
You can recognise that I need what I said I need.
But the fact is you didn't accept.
So how is that understanding?
Obviously you just wanted me to shut whatever was nonsense to your ears.
_____
DEAR EILEEN
You've heard me say what I had to say.
& now all I can ask is for you to give and take.
I've given so much, it exhausted me.
So now I'm taking it back for more than a bit.
Just let things take its natural cause, and just let go.
What is meant to be, will be meant to be.
Say I'm selfish, what have you, I need by break from all this.
_____
I know I've hurt you, & I've hurt myself by hurting you.
But somethings you just have to let go.
I cannot come and go at the expense of our friendship,
and at the same time you cannot take for granted what I've given is forever.
I can be apologetic but without you understanding, it won't help.
Without you acknowledging what I need now and just letting it be
then whatever was said today was bull.
There's only so much I can do, so much I can offer.
Don't drain me out, because I really was.
It was frustrating just to even go on everyday.
It took me so long to pull myself up again,
and I promised myself not to go back to how I was.
I was wrong, & I don't deny it.
But it cannot be denied that you were at fault too.
Sometimes we just have to internalise whatever is said to us, and recognise and accept that we have that flaw.
& not just keep believing that whatever comes our way is wrong.
So both of you, please help me with this. All is not lost, all is not ended. I just need one of you to truly really understand where I'm coming from and not judge it, and the other one of you to face it up that life is not as smooth sailing as you'd want it to be so sometimes it's good to just let it loose a little, or it won't return.
What we had was genuine. What we can't have we'll wait.
I just wanna take it a step at a time. I'm counting my blessings.
Secretly posses me
17:58
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